The past many days has been a whirlwind of bus rides, crowds and laughter. I am indeed glad to be back and I feel like I need some time alone. Ironic that I am an extrovert. I cut loose a lot more than I would during this period and I would like to return to my ideal externally impassive countenance, if it existed anywhere outside my mind.
That aside, I am suddenly thankful for the silence that fills my room, interrupted by occasional chirps of a mynah outside my window. I however, do miss the company and chatter of those same few friends. I also miss the company of a few others I had not seen in many a month or day. I don't feel like boring anyone with a detailed log of what I did but an update on what I had been up to seems to be in order.
16th to 19th November: CCAAB
20th to 1st December : Yunnan OCIP
CCAAB was fun, that's all I'll say about it. So was Yunnan.the scenery was so surreal. At the gardens I could just stand on the bridges forever, basking in the sun with my eyes closed and the gentle wind in my hair, intoxicated by the clear scent of the untainted mountain air.
I would save Yunnan for conversations. CCAAB is something classified and apparently shouldn't be talked about online(according to the teachers) and I concur with that sentiment. All I can say is that several bad first impressions I had of some people in school have been changed in a rather positive manner.
Coming back home was a bittersweet event. I had been lifted out of my life for that short while, forgetting all my responsibilities and duties. Although I did long for my bed (and guitar) among other things , I cannot deny that I had enjoyed myself thoroughly and made many friends.
The days afterI spent the next two days stuck in a fantasy world also known as the latest RPG game Skyrim. I got addicted to it but I also just deleted it. I shall stick to writing for now, and I have yet to pack my room. I also went out quite a bit (by my standards) and also met up with a few friends. On Saturday, I joined the OCIP group for a pool/bowling outing. And just yesterday, I met up with Alison, Glenn and Elvina for bowling. It's interesting how the friendship between the three of them started from Elvina and Alison (in my opinion) eye-candying Glenn. Then again, I have seen a friendships blossom from simply having mutual friends on facebook ( ahem Aaron).
Later today, I shall be going to Sentosa with the Cross team, albeit a tad reluctantly. I do not feel animosity towards the company, quite the opposite in fact, but I am simply tired.
For myself It was a very dangerous thing he said to me, something that fuelled my ego and threatened to ruin my contentment. But I shall attempt to ignore. I know my place and though he disagrees with my sentiment, I shall accept where I am, not that it can be changed. I remember when she asked if I was upset and I answered No. Of course, it was half a truth. Or perhaps, half a lie. I was content where I was placed yet not content with the relative positions. Then again, that slight discontentment was somewhat fuelled by a misconception. I have no idea why he brought it up only now, so many months after. I shall be content. After all, I already know what is in store. Or a part of rather.
On an entirely different subject, I feel guilty that I haven't followed up on some friendships. I wonder where Timothy is now, or where Max is (another Max, not I) and where Vighnesh is. Honestly, life has the habit of throwing up so many people you get attached to for a while and once they drift out of your life, leaves you feeling guilty with no hope of being assuaged. But I expect those thoughts to drift off soon.
On Duty During the trip, I had the fortune to sit next to one of the teachers on the way back. A strong and devoted christian I felt him to be and I had the sudden urge to voice out a few concerns of mine. Basically, I am not longer happy doing what I did. Every responsibility entrusted to me (save playing guitar for worship) was not something I had sought after, but rather, something that was requested of me and I had no heart to turn down these requests. As the year draws to an end, I am actually happy and excited to be entrusted with the running of the camp games. However, I too have to remember about the newsletter. Nobody reads it, that I know. The July issue drained me quite a bit and I recall sitting for about 2 hours, typing, editing and checking. Something I don't look forward to at all.
I voiced it out to the teacher and he didn't leave me with an answer, but instead, showed me the path to my own answer. I am still thinking about it.
And something elseIt scares me a bit to see how occupied my mind can be about certain things. Or how occupied my mind can be thinking about the uncertainties of certain events rather. Or possible events.
I shall let my mind and body rest now. Though I suspect the latter will get much more of it despite equal effort trying to grant it to both.
My name is Max.
In a nutshell, I like running and writing.
I play the classical guitar(something I taught myself so don't judge)
I read books and people (I am not very good at the latter)
SASS (Class of 2010)
ACJC (Class of 2012)
And clearly, I'm not very good at writing profiles either.